Wkends cold war wif him, din msg or tok much. Mood dwn and cry too. Nth much to sae.


Monday meet sec sch best frenz (eileen and meiyan) to meiyan's hse. Helped eileen to dye hair and watch dvd aft dat. Ate tibits and chit chat along the wae. The show "Flower of the night" was scary and taught us a meaningful lesson. Eileen and her bf so swt, they both like fishes. *so envy of them* Watched tv aft dat to 6.30pm, went out to orchard to meet him. Went to Mount Elizabeth Hos. to visit his cousin. Went for dinner wif them aftward but mi din eat. *no appetite* Took train hm but din tok much to him cox... reach hm den settled our prob. Solved and hope there's no more second time... (i suppose)


Tuesday stayed at hm rot, nth to do, sianz. Online watch Hana-Kimi on youtube and watch tv lo. At night work lo. Daily routine if i din go out.


Wednesday meet him go swimming in the morning, managed to learn frog style but swim super slow. Alot of ppl went to swim todae and was so ps for swimming so slow cox everyone is pro. Bathe den go for lunch and went hm le. Den daily routine repeat till i slp.


Thursday went to bank (help mum deposit $$), raining cause few ppl in bank, and quite fast to my turn. Normally nid to wait ard 1hr de. Meet budz for lunch aft dat at PizzaHut. Ate Pasta, soup and pepsi (veri fully). Budz treat. Thkz so much!! went his hse aft dat to play PS. Stayed till ard 5.40pm den went to lot 1 meet mummy. Borrow his game hm to continue. Nephew bought toy car again. Den went to NTUC to buy things and go hm le. Daily routine repeat till i slp.


Friday which is todae, watch tv and play ps and wait for him to cum. He stay for an hr or so den go off le. Do hse chores and den 6pm went off to work. Helped his mum to check med but din buy. Took HepB jab (last dose) and was quite pain de cox the med solution is sour de. Aft work, went hm. Signing off den -----

Today went out wif him to Bugis. Lunch, temple, window shoppin. Went hm aft dat. He sae he will acc mi to work todae, but someone coming his hse to see fish (sudden) so cant go wif mi. Angry?? Sad?? Disappointed?? all hv... :'( Chased him off to his hm. Went to work myself. Little patients and end early. He came to fetch mi but i insist to go back myself. Super upset tis time. He explained.. but i hv no more faith in him le... :'(

Why cant he juz keep his promise lehx?? keep breaking, how m i goin to trust him? Ha! is the same of wad i tink, i cant compared wif his fish. Still, im not the most impt person in his life. Tis is not the first time, my endurance has its limit. haix~ tis few daes din tink so much and was quite happi de, tot mi and him can continue. But nw... thing starting again. U can sae im unreasonable, idiotic, not understandable. So wad?!?! :'( I hate ppl to lie to mi and why is U?? Making empty promise which i dun like at all!! I've cried too much, till i duno wad is called tears animore. *heart broke and pain*

Mondae stay hm at the wae. Slack~

Tuesday went out to meet kor (Pierson) for lunch. Ate sushi till veri full, went arcade, play kPool, and window shopping till Dardar came to meet mi for dinner. Ate Long John Silver wif him till full full oso. Walk hm frm lot 1 to digest.

Wednesday morning went for swimming at CCK swimming complex wif him. Taught mi how to swim frog style and went to the spa pool and wave pool to relax and play. Went for lunch and den hm le.

Thursday went to lunch kbox wif sis. Voice cant sing veri well due to my cough and flu. Ate lunch till full full too.








Look delicious worx










Din manage to meet buddy coz he not reali free. Went to mummy working place aft dat and of course eat again. Took their foto too.










Mum's helper











The canteen














Beautiful Sis














Busy mum making milo

Aft dat fetch nephew den go eat (not mi), go straight to work le. Quite a no. of patient. Reach hm and rest.

Sunday


Morning went to East Coast wif family and him, not enuff slp (onli 7hrs). Picked him up frm cck den off to East Coast le. Mum din cycle, mi and him shared one 2-seats bic.and same like sis and her husband wif nephew. Took foto of the scenery while cycling coz i sit behind can relax. Weather veri hot so hope can tanned myself but din reali tanned much. Went dwn the beach to play water too. Veri relaxing and calm. When mood is dwn or upset, reali can go beach, it's peace over dere. =) Took foto too.





went for lunch aft dat, den go straight to his aunt hse. Sit and went to Farmart walk walk and den to Qian Hu to see fishes. Perspired alot and ard 6.30pm ate dinner. Watch tv and went hm ard 9.30pm. Rest legs and slpt ard 1am.

Saturday, b4 goin for his dad's dinner, went to his aunt hse first. Aft dat den went over to Tiong Bahru dere wif his whole family and relatives. Eaten full precisely. Aft dinner, mi went movie wif him and some of his cousin at Tiong Bahru Plaza. He din ask whether i wanna go so pull mi along =( B4 watching the movie, they went to Ben&Jerry for ice cream but i din eat, most probably not hungry??






His niece wif her toy

Aft dat went for 11.55pm de "Stomp the Yard", a veri meaningful show, abt dancing and team spirit. People who like to watch "Take the lead", might like this show too. Reached hm ard 2.40am, tired and slpt.

Friday, 16th Mar, mi and him

Happy 11st Month Anniversary!!

Friday, my lcd reached my hse at 2pm. Shift the old one to my rm and den the new lcd up onto the cupboard. Bf came to help out oso and the lcd looks jux gorgeous okie... see for urself.

Before

After

At nite work and took mum when eating orange.

Recently like this particular flower, named Carnation.



Isnt it just look gorgeous like a rose too?? Perhaps it can replace rose but both still look beautiful to me. =) [Available in mani colours worx]

Happy??

Tues went out wif mum to westmall, bought LCD and will be delivered by fri. Mum bargained alot, super ps. Den went to see cupboard but din buy. Buy panties too, veri cheap onli 4 at $10. Went to work aft dat. Make sure use of my time reali.

Wed went out wif bf to watch movie coz got free movie tickets when mum buy the LCD. went to Shaw house to watch, theatre veri small, pop corn not nice too. Watched Primeval. Quite scary cox of the crocodile. Walk Fast East awhile den go hm le. He went to buy 4D and dinner back to my hse to eat. night slack at hm again.

Todae went out wif mum for facial, den went to Bukit panjang to buy my facial cream, den went to Sheng Siong to buy my fav biscuits (1kg). Went back to Lot 1 to exchange nephew toy and buy breads and finger food. Went to fetch nephew frm child care den go hm le.

Real happi?? or juz to take the time to make mi dun tink so much?? haix~ duno ba, at least wont be at hm alone tinking non-stop and shed tears w/o anione knowing.

Some scenery during Bintan:

Alone...

staying at hm, nth to do, listen to sad songs, getting emo, tears rolling down my cheeks... haix~ he working every mon, tue and thurs, able to see each other on wed onli, seldom on fri... alone at aniwhere, make mi tink alot, how gud we are last time and not nw... i nid someone to occupy my empty time, for the sake of controlling my tears from falling... keep crying, tink my eyes goin to be blind somedae and cld not recognise anione anymore.

IMPORTANT???


Haix~ here to complain again... urgh!!! Being his most important person??? "You are more impt than my family members le"... reali??? sometimes his words/promises are lies, juz for the sake for making me happy...


Injured leg is one issue, his mum asked him to stay hm do things den he stayed, and can dun cum over to visit me or at least my leg!!! haix~ so tis is called 'im the most impt person' har?!?! i duno wad he tinking, perhaps juz to sae for the sake to sae. I can no longer feel im dat impt to him animore!!


Darlin or Fangling?? darlin in msn/sms while fangling in reality. Any diff?? OF COURSE! he tink dat i will be shy if he call mi darlin, i tink he dun dare to call which is shy. haix~ see... our mindset is diff. He asked mi whether i wan him to call mi darlin or wad in reality BUT wad for?? wad i wan is he call mi frm his bottom of his heart and not i ask him to call den call de.


Our relationship is getting from bad to worse juz becox of me.. distance getting more apart and cld not communicate like we used to be.. why? the fault lies on mi i believe.. alwaes wish my relationship can last till the end, but wad is happening nw? WAD EXACTLY WRG WIF MI??? my heart is not stable?? or i dun love him enuff?? or i hv someone else in mind?? i duno... but i do love him de. haix~

"Where Is Your Heart?"


I don't believe
In the smile that you leave
When you walk away
And say goodbye
Well I don't expect
The world to move underneath me
But for God's sake
Could you try?
I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

(Chorus)
Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
(And)That's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?

I don't understand
Your love is so cold
It's always me that's reaching out
For your hand
And I've always dreamed
That love would be effortless
Like a petal fallin' to the ground
A dreamer followin' his dream

(Chorus)

It seems so much is left unsaid
So much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need
Baby, it's just you and me
Oh yeah

I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

(Chorus)x2

REOPEN to my angels and budz onli!! (dun link/tell anione)

feel so down tis few wks, those who noe de noe le, those who duno, i hv feeling dat mi and bf dun last le... *tears drop* feel so terrible.. and u all will ask Why?? i duno too. Quarrelled more wif bf nwadae, almost anithing i can start the arguement. Haix~ wad wrg wif mi?!?!?!

NS will be a barrier to mi and bf, will i wait for him for 2 years??? i duno... perhaps i dun love him enuff? or i hate to be left ALONE outside? most probably ba. Why guys muz hv NS? why a ger abandon his bf during NS period is considered she dun love him enuff? Haix~ why cant guy understand ger feeling lehx??? Ger being left alone outside oso veri pity de!!! haix~

Sprained my left leg ytd nite when crossing the road to my hse, the time was SO PAIN and could almost burst out to tears but mi 'ai mian zi' so bear wif the pain and walk up my hse. Reach hse outside cry out le. First time sprain leg super pain, hope he wad dere for mi... haix~ todae went to see doc wif budz' accompany. Thkz alot!! 1st stage is 'zhen jiu' where the doc put needles into my ankle, 2nd stage is the doc massaged my ankle hardly, 3rd stage is he pull my leg super hard and last stage where he put the med paste onto my ankle and bandage up. The whole process was like hell man!!! dropped tears and oso sweat too. How i wish he was dere for mi... *tears dropped again*

Well... i hv learnt my lesson is to be independent, who noes wad will happen to mi and him?? Being independent is gud?? Perhaps ba, den i wont be bothering/harassing him liao. Promise no secrets between mi and him but tis feeling shd be keep in my heart ba. If he came to noe, perhaps we're over le ba... haix~

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Post to wish huishi a Happy Birthday!! May all ur wishes cum true and stay cute and cheerful alwaes worx!!! Muackz~~ Get to meet soon worx !! =D