Recently like this particular flower, named Carnation.



Isnt it just look gorgeous like a rose too?? Perhaps it can replace rose but both still look beautiful to me. =) [Available in mani colours worx]

Happy??

Tues went out wif mum to westmall, bought LCD and will be delivered by fri. Mum bargained alot, super ps. Den went to see cupboard but din buy. Buy panties too, veri cheap onli 4 at $10. Went to work aft dat. Make sure use of my time reali.

Wed went out wif bf to watch movie coz got free movie tickets when mum buy the LCD. went to Shaw house to watch, theatre veri small, pop corn not nice too. Watched Primeval. Quite scary cox of the crocodile. Walk Fast East awhile den go hm le. He went to buy 4D and dinner back to my hse to eat. night slack at hm again.

Todae went out wif mum for facial, den went to Bukit panjang to buy my facial cream, den went to Sheng Siong to buy my fav biscuits (1kg). Went back to Lot 1 to exchange nephew toy and buy breads and finger food. Went to fetch nephew frm child care den go hm le.

Real happi?? or juz to take the time to make mi dun tink so much?? haix~ duno ba, at least wont be at hm alone tinking non-stop and shed tears w/o anione knowing.

Some scenery during Bintan:

Alone...

staying at hm, nth to do, listen to sad songs, getting emo, tears rolling down my cheeks... haix~ he working every mon, tue and thurs, able to see each other on wed onli, seldom on fri... alone at aniwhere, make mi tink alot, how gud we are last time and not nw... i nid someone to occupy my empty time, for the sake of controlling my tears from falling... keep crying, tink my eyes goin to be blind somedae and cld not recognise anione anymore.

IMPORTANT???


Haix~ here to complain again... urgh!!! Being his most important person??? "You are more impt than my family members le"... reali??? sometimes his words/promises are lies, juz for the sake for making me happy...


Injured leg is one issue, his mum asked him to stay hm do things den he stayed, and can dun cum over to visit me or at least my leg!!! haix~ so tis is called 'im the most impt person' har?!?! i duno wad he tinking, perhaps juz to sae for the sake to sae. I can no longer feel im dat impt to him animore!!


Darlin or Fangling?? darlin in msn/sms while fangling in reality. Any diff?? OF COURSE! he tink dat i will be shy if he call mi darlin, i tink he dun dare to call which is shy. haix~ see... our mindset is diff. He asked mi whether i wan him to call mi darlin or wad in reality BUT wad for?? wad i wan is he call mi frm his bottom of his heart and not i ask him to call den call de.


Our relationship is getting from bad to worse juz becox of me.. distance getting more apart and cld not communicate like we used to be.. why? the fault lies on mi i believe.. alwaes wish my relationship can last till the end, but wad is happening nw? WAD EXACTLY WRG WIF MI??? my heart is not stable?? or i dun love him enuff?? or i hv someone else in mind?? i duno... but i do love him de. haix~

"Where Is Your Heart?"


I don't believe
In the smile that you leave
When you walk away
And say goodbye
Well I don't expect
The world to move underneath me
But for God's sake
Could you try?
I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

(Chorus)
Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
(And)That's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?

I don't understand
Your love is so cold
It's always me that's reaching out
For your hand
And I've always dreamed
That love would be effortless
Like a petal fallin' to the ground
A dreamer followin' his dream

(Chorus)

It seems so much is left unsaid
So much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need
Baby, it's just you and me
Oh yeah

I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

(Chorus)x2

REOPEN to my angels and budz onli!! (dun link/tell anione)

feel so down tis few wks, those who noe de noe le, those who duno, i hv feeling dat mi and bf dun last le... *tears drop* feel so terrible.. and u all will ask Why?? i duno too. Quarrelled more wif bf nwadae, almost anithing i can start the arguement. Haix~ wad wrg wif mi?!?!?!

NS will be a barrier to mi and bf, will i wait for him for 2 years??? i duno... perhaps i dun love him enuff? or i hate to be left ALONE outside? most probably ba. Why guys muz hv NS? why a ger abandon his bf during NS period is considered she dun love him enuff? Haix~ why cant guy understand ger feeling lehx??? Ger being left alone outside oso veri pity de!!! haix~

Sprained my left leg ytd nite when crossing the road to my hse, the time was SO PAIN and could almost burst out to tears but mi 'ai mian zi' so bear wif the pain and walk up my hse. Reach hse outside cry out le. First time sprain leg super pain, hope he wad dere for mi... haix~ todae went to see doc wif budz' accompany. Thkz alot!! 1st stage is 'zhen jiu' where the doc put needles into my ankle, 2nd stage is the doc massaged my ankle hardly, 3rd stage is he pull my leg super hard and last stage where he put the med paste onto my ankle and bandage up. The whole process was like hell man!!! dropped tears and oso sweat too. How i wish he was dere for mi... *tears dropped again*

Well... i hv learnt my lesson is to be independent, who noes wad will happen to mi and him?? Being independent is gud?? Perhaps ba, den i wont be bothering/harassing him liao. Promise no secrets between mi and him but tis feeling shd be keep in my heart ba. If he came to noe, perhaps we're over le ba... haix~

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Post to wish huishi a Happy Birthday!! May all ur wishes cum true and stay cute and cheerful alwaes worx!!! Muackz~~ Get to meet soon worx !! =D